Actor Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about the impact of a past relationship on her self-esteem, saying she was repeatedly made to feel guilty about her confidence, career and even menstruation.

In a recent conversation with Dhanya Varma, Anupama described the relationship as controlling and said the experience left her questioning several aspects of her identity. She recalled being made to feel that her emotions were linked to her menstrual cycle whenever she confronted her partner about something he had done. “I was in a situation where I was ashamed that I was an actor. I was ashamed that I was confident. I was ashamed that I have my periods and I’m a woman,” she said.

Elaborating on how the situation affected her, Anupama said that regardless of where she was in her cycle, her partner would allegedly dismiss her concerns by attributing them to PMS or her approaching period. She said this eventually made her feel embarrassed about menstruating.

The actor also revealed how drastically her outlook on motherhood has changed. Anupama recalled that she once imagined having a large family and even dreamed of having 11 children. However, she said she currently has no desire to have children, attributing the change in perspective to what she experienced in the relationship.

She further spoke about feeling diminished despite her professional accomplishments and said the relationship influenced the way she dressed, worked and conducted herself. In another part of the conversation, she alleged that she chose not to promote Dragon because of her former partner. She also recalled breaking down during the promotional events for Paradha after allegedly being subjected to slut-shaming.

According to Anupama, marriage was another area where she faced pressure. She said she was repeatedly pushed towards getting engaged and married but kept postponing the decision because she did not feel comfortable proceeding.

The actor has discussed the relationship across two conversations on Dhyan Varma’s YouTube channel, without identifying the person involved. She has also spoken about returning to social media in July after taking a break and subsequently opening up about the experience without naming her former partner.

At one point, Anupama compared his personality to the character played by Vikram in Anniyan, a reference to the film’s portrayal of a person with drastically different behavioural traits. Anupama's revelations have also renewed online speculation about her personal life. The actor has previously been linked by fans with Dhruv Vikram, with unverified social media posts, a purported photograph and a shared Spotify playlist being cited as evidence of a relationship. Their interactions at award functions have also fuelled speculation. However, neither actor has publicly confirmed being in a relationship.

Anupama and Dhruv shared screen space in Mari Selvaraj’s Bison Kaalamaadan, released last year.