What kind of centrality, meaning and significance can a film hold for an individual? Sav Rodgers’ documentary Chasing Chasing Amy, springs from this intensely personal question. It begins as an examination of how his favourite film—Kevin Smith’s 1997 rom-com Chasing Amy—gave company to and was supportive of his 12-year-old lonely self, became his proxy friend and confidante, and saved his life when he was contemplating ending it in the face of violent homophobia in school.

But it doesn’t stop at this individual quest. The journey back to the beloved rom-com—about a straight comic artist Holden (Ben Affleck) falling in love with a lesbian Alyssa (Joey Lauran Adams)—also becomes an analysis of its representation of the queer community. Something that was both pioneering and controversial for its time has been divisive over the years and problematic in hindsight. It’s for this reason alone that Rodgers’ debut feature stands out. While there have been films aplenty about iconic filmmakers and the making of classics, very few have gone deep into a film’s socio-cultural dimensions and tricky legacy.

Since its premiere at Tribeca, Chasing Chasing Amy has travelled to several festivals around the world and played most recently at the Palm Springs International Film Festival.

Rodgers puts the cards on the table at the very start with his Ted Talk in 2018 in which he elaborates on the film’s impact on his life—how its characters became role models for him when he was squaring up to his own queer identity, how he loved them being portrayed as openly gay, funny, good people and authentic to themselves. It also inspired him to become a screenwriter and filmmaker himself.

But can the film that gave him hope when he thought all was lost, be regarded as a seminal work in LGBTQ+ cinema? Or just a mainstream film whose popularity obscured its own “dumb and dark side” and played down the significance of other nuanced, independent efforts? Like Go Fish (1994), Totally F***ed Up (1993), or The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995). Could a film that was crucial for the personal development of an individual measure up just as well when it comes to the collective cause of a community?

The documentary tries to throw up many such questions even as it sees the glass both as half full and half empty. On the one hand, it argues—through the many interviews—how Smith’s film helped in “normalizing” queer characters in popular cinema and acknowledged the fluidity of sexual identity in individuals. On the other hand, is the fact that it was told entirely from the perspective of a straight white filmmaker and was centred on a hero who is shown as capable of making a woman fall in love with him and having her magically let go of her lesbianism. It will have us roll our eyes today but were these ambiguities questioned as much back then? It was a film of its time, but has it aged well?

Rodgers persists with such a probe but doesn’t quite say anything concrete, or conclusive. He talks, discusses, and debates the film with a range of people, collates and strings together diverse points of view, including those of Chasing Amy director Smith, the lead actor Adams, producer Scott Mosier and several writers, critics, and queer rights activists. At times it feels that there are way too many people and opinions flying around. The narrative gets clumsy, lumbering, and confusing, and the arguments repetitive.

The most compelling aspect about Chasing Chasing Amy is the meta element. How the journey into understanding the film’s impact runs parallel with Rodgers’ own transitioning and coming out as a transgender man. Then there is the romance in a documentary about a romcom which itself emerged out of two real-life romances. Complicated? Not quite. Here's how: Chasing Amy was shaped by the romantic friendship of producer Mosier with lesbian filmmaker Guinevere Turner and Smith’s own liaison with Adams. In fact, the interviews with these two ladies, Turner and Adams, are the most rewarding and leave one asking for more.

Chasing Chasing Amy itself shows Rodgers’ own love story in formation, that too with a queer woman, Riley. It’s sweet to see him revisit the various settings of Chasing Amy with her for company. It's the bond he forms with her that also makes him realize that he doesn’t quite need Chasing Amy anymore. It might have been a fan tribute but ends up stating that life is not about finding your heroes, it is about finding yourself.