Kate Winslet admits she made a determined effort to avoid starring in Goodbye June, the holiday family drama that also marks her first time behind the camera. Although she initially intended only to produce and act in the film, taking on directing as well felt like a responsibility too large to juggle.

Speaking to Digital Spy, Winslet recalled thinking she simply couldn’t manage all three roles. “I know I’m good at multitasking, but this is too many things,” she said, revealing she “desperately tried to recast” her own part. She even put together what she described as “a really good list” of alternate actors she believed would excel in the role.

But stepping aside wasn’t an option for long. Winslet noted that Netflix wasn’t keen on the idea, and by then, she’d already assembled a cast she found irresistible. “How could I not go and play with them?” she said. “Because that’s what we do. We play, we pretend, and it’s an amazing thing.”

Goodbye June, written by Winslet’s son Joe Anders, follows four siblings, played by Winslet, Toni Collette, Andrea Riseborough and Johnny Flynn, who reunite as their ailing mother, portrayed by Helen Mirren, declines during the festive season. The film is currently in limited theatrical release and will debut on Netflix on December 24.

Reflecting on her decision to step behind the camera, Winslet recently told Deadline earlier that her years of collaboration with filmmakers influenced her approach. “I’m always very supportive of directors I work with, and that relationship has always meant a great deal to me,” she said. “I think it will just make me, probably, just much more supportive, really…”