Ek Haseena Thi Ek Deewana Tha: Painfully Bad!
It’s one thing to have a disjointed plot but it’s quite another if that’s coupled with subpar editing.
Ek Haseena Thi Ek Deewana Tha is the kind of thriller that Emraan Hashmi would have ideally liked to do. But on close examination of the script, one can tell, rather quickly, that it would have been a step down even for him. There are those third-rate Hindi films that have some rare moments of redemption (with the music, in most cases), but sadly for the people who are to watch this God-awful attempt at cinema – there are no such moments, whatsoever! Shiv Darshan and Natasha Fernandez play the roles of a stable boy/farmhand and a seemingly confused wealthy heiress, respectively. Their doomed onscreen love for one another is as painful to watch as it is for them to act it out. And then there’s the self-sacrificial and insecure fiancée in Upen Patel, who spouts cringe-worthy dialogues like, “Tum mujhe chhodogi toh nahi” (“You won’t leave me, will you?”) in spite of knowing fully well that that’s exactly what she’s going to do.
Cast: Shiv Darshan, Natasha Fernandez, Upen Patel
Direction: Suneel Darshan
Fernandez appears dazed and stoned throughout most of the film. Even while attempting to deliver passionate monologues about the depth of her love, her emotional features (or lack thereof) can only be bettered by the ever-robotic Bella Swan (played by Kristen Stewart) of the Twilight saga. In the first quarter of Ek Haseena…, Shiv Darshan’s character, Devdhar, presents a poor man’s Faiz Ahmed Faiz, as he rattles off line after line of romantic Urdu, in the fervent hope of convincing Natasha that they are meant to be together. In the plot’s many emotionally charged scenes, Darshan and Fernandez match each other frame for frame by delivering dialogues with a glazed look in their eye, perfecting in the process, the famed ‘thousand-yard stare,’ that even the most hardened war veteran might find impossible to conjure. The erotic stable and horse riding scenes of the film are so bad, that even pornos set in similar environs make a strong case for superior production.
It’s one thing to have a disjointed plot. It’s quite another if that’s coupled with subpar editing. Scenes jump from one to the other, with total disregard for any continuity or common sense. When Upen Patel is burdened with the task of being the best actor on show, you can well imagine which way the film’s going. The whole project is quite laughable, with two scenes taking the cake, in particular. One involves Natasha falling off a cliff early into the story, and the other has a British Police officer speaking flawless Hindi. And then, there’s the anglicised delivery of many Hindi dialogues (to sound posh, apparently), in spite of the fact that all the characters have regular Indian accents. If you wish to preserve your sanity, give Ek Haseena a much-needed pass.