Sherin: Tharshan's exit from Bigg Boss made me feel vulnerable

One of the recurring themes in this year's Bigg Boss Tamil was the constant call for the more 'famous' housemates to sacrifice their winning chances for the 'deserving' housemates. One of the vocal critics against this line of thought was Sherin, who made her acting debut in 2002 with Thulluvadho Ilamai when she was just 15. "Yes, I have seen fame. But I have worked really hard for it. I have worked days and nights, braving illness etc... to get whatever fame I've got so far. You can't punish me for working hard and coming up in life. I always believed it was up to the audience to decide the winner."

Excerpts from the conversation

What was the most honest criticism you received?

All the feedback I received has been overwhelmingly positive. Even in my close circles, the people who are brutally honest with me, expressed their happiness about my conduct inside the house. They praised me for playing a good, morally strong, and honest game.

Social media can be grounding at times. Did you check out what they felt about you?

Yeah, I did come across the various groups of Sherin Army. I liked how so many of them took a moral stand and promoted me. There were no ugly fights or unnecessary trolls or being negative for the sake of it. My fans reflect me, and this attitude of my fans made me really happy.

But for the longest period of time, you were more of a 'middle bench student' in the Bigg Boss house. Was it a ploy to play it safe?

From the outside, it might seem like I was a middle bench student. But I was extremely loved in the house by each and every housemate. That is why I was one of the last housemates to be nominated for eviction. It is not like I played a safe game. I am someone who likes to establish a decent and different relationship with everyone. If I don't like someone, I keep my distance. I don't really like conflict, and I stay away from it.

But being neutral inside the house can also be seen as a strategy?

Among this bunch of people, I would say it was easy to maintain neutrality. For the longest time, no one disturbed me personally. There were a lot of problems between each of them, but again, that's between them. It doesn't mean I didn't involve myself in common problems or when I was personally attacked. During those times, I was there talking and telling what needed to be told. I just loved everyone and everyone loved me. It was not a strategy.

While you did win the 'Best Buddy' Award, there is a belief that it isn't possible to be friends with people inside the house.

Sandy said a beautiful thing about Mugen and me. He told us, "You put a blanket over someone, and without caring about their inherent character, you shower love and affection. You see the goodness in everyone. You see what you want to see." That has been my attitude always. My loyalty, my friendship, and my love is not defined by that person's character; it is defined by me.

However, there was criticism about you just being a guardian angel of sorts?

It is not easy to maintain a unique relationship with each and every one. Everyone has different temperaments, needs etc... It was difficult to maintain that balance with every housemate without making anyone feel left out. I did that successfully. Also, I gave a very tough run for the others in the Golden Ticket task. I am fiercely competitive by nature, but I have faced a lot of problems because of that in my life. I didn't want to transfer that into the show, so I often took a backseat. Also, I like watching other people be successful.

What then was the lure of Bigg Boss for you?

I came to Bigg Boss for reasons different from fame. I was suffering from certain personal problems, and I wanted to come here to distract myself. I believed being amidst others' problems would make me forget my sorrows and pain. It did happen. Also, if being famous is a limiting factor, this entire show will not work. They need the TRP and ratings.

You always seemed surprised about receiving adulation from the audience.

I genuinely didn't understand why I was eliciting such reactions from the audience. I knew everyone else had struck a chord with the audience. I am subtle by nature. A lot of issues I had in the house were solved without my making a huge hue and cry. So I always wondered why they would appreciate something that wasn't exactly TRP-worthy.

But didn't you give enough TRP fodder towards the end of your stay?

Oh my god, yes! Even that problem was something that was festering over three weeks. I broke out only when I couldn't take it anymore. I was trying to settle it with Vanitha over three weeks. I asked her not to speak about Tharshan. But when she never stopped, at one point, I erupted. If she had stopped earlier, that wouldn't have happened.

How hurt were you by Vanitha's accusations?

When she used the word 'affair', I had a complete meltdown. No one had attacked Vanitha like that before. Affair is a demeaning word. It cannot be used to describe a beautiful relationship. I had survivor's guilt after Tharshan left, and I was very vulnerable. That's why I broke down when Vanitha accused me of being the reason for his exit. Later, I realised she was targeting me. I still don't know why she did that, because I was one of her true friends, and genuinely loved her.

Another major problem you had inside the house was the language barrier...

The language barrier came to the fore during the village task. When Kavin nominated me as the worst performer that week, it really hurt me. That's when I felt that disconnect, and I wanted to leave the house. But after a lot of thought, I did take it positively. I made it a point to pester the boys when they made film references etc... I wanted to know what the joke was about. I learnt a lot of Tamil from them. I asked Cheran sir and Sandy a lot of questions about Tamil and updated myself.

You had a love-hate relationship with the Boys gang.

The Boys Gang was definitely groupism. They isolated the other members of the house. I did feel bad about that. While it wasn't as if I wanted to be part of the group, I knew there was nothing I did for them to isolate me either. Honestly, if I was part of the group, I would have asked them to avoid making those hoodies etc... things that would make the other housemates feel left out. I would have let them know it was a hurtful thing. Even when the whole gender issue came to the front, they thought I didn't stand for them, but I did take it up with Madhumitha. I thought that was ridiculous.

Did others' eviction change your thought process about the game?

Never. I'm glad it didn't. It would have given me overconfidence. When I was nominated for the first time, I was very sure I'd leave. But with every passing week, I started having confidence on the people voting for me. More than what I did right, it was more about what others did to leave. That's what bothered me about Tharshan's exit too. I never understood it.

How are you planning to use the fame you have received from the BB show?

I'll just continue to do what I was doing before. Of course, I'll be happy to take up interesting cinema offers, but I am also considering getting into music production. My work as a DJ is going very well, and it is only going to get better. I'm looking at that. There are several original ideas in my head, and I am a creative person. Whatever I do next will be to satiate that urge in me. 

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